What's Cooking? Wednesday Wisdom From Gwendolyn Adams

'WHAT'S COOKING' is a blog series wherein the team behind Kitchen Party Theatre Festival gives you a closer peek at some of our secret ingredients, so to speak. What exactly does a recipe for artistic process call for? Who inspires our company members? What have they learned in the industry so far? What do they find interesting about the various characters they play? Today, company actor and production apprentice, Gwendolyn Adams, shares some Wednesday Wisdom about her decision to take silliness seriously. 

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When I was in 10th grade career class, I was asked to make a chart of a few jobs I was interested in pursuing, and how I could obtain those. Talking about the future was one of my absolute least favorite topics. It always sent me into a frenzy and made me so frustrated because it seemed I was the only teen on the planet who hadn’t had the rest of their life figured out. (What an original feeling!) So I’m sitting there in that class, trying so hard to figure out my entire life in 45 minutes, destroying my brain trying to think of SOMETHING to put down. In reality, my heart knew. And it had for a long time. I just wasn’t quite ready to admit it yet. I grab my pencil.

Acting. Directing. Writing.

The person next to me writes, brain surgeon.

Gasp. How foolish am I? The teacher is going to be mortified to see that I just want to be a silly actor! A director?! A scriptwriter?! But why was I feeling this way?

Ever since I was young, I’ve loved to act, make music videos, play dress up, and everything of the sort. I had always been excited to show others what I’d been creating. The jump from 6th grade to 7th would involve changing schools, which was absolutely terrifying to me, but the fact that this new school would actually have a drama club eased my apprehension. In 9th grade, after watching Romeo + Juilet (1996), I fell head over heels for Leonardo DiCaprio, (we’ve all been there) and I increasingly realized how bad I wanted to be doing what he was doing. 

Why was I now suddenly embarrassed when I wanted to take my hobbies further and make a career out of them? To tell you the truth, I have anxiety, which I know plays a huge factor into that. But after speaking to other aspiring artists, I realized this was a common thought. The fear of not being good enough, or taken seriously, or the notion that it could in some way “disappoint” those around you, is real.

There came a point when I discovered that for something I was so passionate about, I wasn’t taking much initiative to get to where I want to be. The anxiety of fearing I wouldn’t get anywhere or be good enough had consumed me, which is a terrible place to be. You get stuck. It was only when I decided to take my career seriously, and not view it as something to be somehow ashamed of, that I started to take steps to get where I want to be. I remember hearing someone say that being embarrassed about what you want to do will never ever help you get there, and I heard it at the perfect time. And thinking about the time you may have “wasted” (which I am 100% guilty of) will also get you nowhere. I decided I need to work on myself now, and realize the past is in the…past! No matter how cliche it may sound.

Cinema and theatre have been such important forms of art to me for so long, and something I knew I greatly appreciated in all aspects. However, when the pandemic hit, I think many people just began to realize how important those things are for them. Many of us turned to movies and television for entertainment, stress relieving purposes, and to feel like we still had a sense of normality. And theaters were closed, so the world realized how much they missed live entertainment. Of course, none of these can happen without actors, directors, writers, etc. They are all immensely important.

My teacher was in fact thrilled to hear about my plans.

I know people in all professions go through periods of wondering if they’re making the right decision, this is just being human. I do however think this especially rings true for those in the arts. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have moments where I am backstage, minutes before appearing in front of an audience, nauseated, and thinking, Why am I putting myself through this? Is this really what I want to be doing? Only to immediately step foot into the hazy view of people and have it all melt away. And all the hard work it took to get there is so worth it.

I am now so proud to tell people what I am doing and what I hope to pursue.
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I never feel embarrassed on the stage.
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Reserve Your Tickets for the Kitchen Party Today!

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​GWENDOLYN ADAMS (she/her)
Mainstage Performer (The Codfather), Festival Production Apprentice
 
Gwendolyn O. Adams hails from Central Newfoundland. A veteran of regional and provincial drama festivals across the island, she is excited to be returning to the Kitchen Party Theatre Festival for her second year. Gwen is a passionate film buff who absolutely loves animals. When not happily immersed in her stage or screen craft, she can be found lost in a movie, chatting about her favourite actors, feeding squirrels, and caring for her pet rooster, Ralfie.

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